"I'm Transitioning"

Lately, people tend to ask me "What are you doing these days?"

I'm not sure exactly how to respond. Am I busy? Absolutely! With what? It's hard to pin down... I'm busy with a hodge-podge of little errands, last minute preparations, and bitter-sweet goodbyes. In other words, I'm in transition, which is not a feeling I'm used to. Historically speaking, my life's transitions have been over in the blink of an eye if there was one at all.

I finished my undergraduate degree, and was on an LDS mission to Rochester less than a month later--just enough time to pack and say goodbye. I came home from Rochester to start my graduate degree four weeks later, somehow finding time to fall in love with Fabio at the same time. We were engaged in October and married almost exactly three months later. I was doing my job with the State of Utah for over a year before I finished grad school.

My life has been a whirlwind of change with little or no allowance for any sort of "transitions." Until now, that is. Now my whole world is a giant conglomerate of transitions: I don't work anymore, but I'm not a mom just yet; I left Tucson but I'm not in Singapore just yet; all our belongings are in a crate on a boat somewhere between California and Singapore. I'm really glad visas, Pacific storms, and emergency to help grandparents created this world of transition (even though it results in occasional identity crises). I've been able to tie up all the U.S. loose-ends we didn't think of until Fabio got to Asia, I've spent a lot of time with family I won't see again for a while, and I've been reading like crazy about babies and parenting.

But when someone asks, "What are you up to these days?" I find myself having a hard time coming up with an accurate answer. I end up saying something like, "Oh, just running errands," or "You know, sewing and other projects," which really isn't the case at all! What I'd really like to say is, "I'm transitioning." (Too bad that sounds like some George-Costanza-contrived euphemism for "Nothing. Literally. I'm doing nothing").

At any rate, with or without a good name for it, I'm so glad for this incredibly frustrating "transitioning time." It's helped me reflect, to take a deep breath, look down the road at a million amazing changes just around the corner, take some time to prepare, but most of all just enjoy getting really excited. I think that's more than "nothing."